you can find the world in a person's diary who thinks He's the world

Apr 28, 2009

Distraction, but then

you're driving

you see a girl on her father's bike, sitting behind him

you tell to yourself "hmmm.. she's good"

She looks at you when you overtake them.

A smile arises, a shrewd one.. however, you just move on but later blushing :-)


Belated wishes to one of the first and finest writers I came to know. The below poem "Mirage" is her work and if personified, it'll turn into a present day individual.

"I know not myself,

Maybe you know me?
Look into my eyes,
Tell me what you see.

An innocent girl,
Or a crafty witch,
Between these roles
Do I appear to switch?

I stand at the crossroads,
Of reality and bright dreams,
I start to move forward,
At least, that is how it seems.

Which path do I take?
Do you think you know?
Radiant dreams by a friend,
Gloomy reality by a foe?

Do you think that you have
Understood the riddle,
Or have you lost yourself,
Somewhere in the middle?

These words I pen,
Are a mirror of my heart,
Or they simply might be,
A barrier to deadly darts.

If you have read this far,
Then you may know me,
And in that illusion,
I will let you be."

This post is a tribute to the poem which perfectly captures the puzzle and parody of present day life and a birthday greeting to it's writer. Thousand times I read it and it still feels fresh and true.

and this is the link to her

Apr 12, 2009


Haa, every time I told my mom "I'm going to friend's place", I did go... but not this time ;-)

Went to the bus stop to catch the first bus.

I wonder whether Hyderabad is full of pairs and couples going all around or whether I'm observing only them.
I find soo many of them everywhere.. indeed I'm finding only them. Here too, as soon as I got in, I found one pair sitting near the door.

The bus was mostly empty and I took the window seat. It was pollution outside so conductor closed all the windows. Now as good as any other place (huh!). I was trying to look through the tinted glass, what was going on outside. Election time, so all roads full of guys on bikes with flags, campaigning for their Favorite (maximum paying) leaders.

Now and then, I was looking at the other window and door too. Just when I was turning towards the door that girl of the before said pair looked at me. Then she stared at me. I was like "Ahemm"

Some time later, I was busy watching this guy screaming while doing some feats on his bike on the road and I followed him towards the door and he disappeared. Just then, she looks again. This time like I'm one weirdo watching them people.

Third time and fourth time... She now whispers something and the guy looks at me too. I wanted to tell "Aaaaahh.. This is too much.. I'm not observing you, not even bothered about you... you hyper idiotic girl, you're looking at me every time I see that side." Looked like that guys perceiving my this "perplexed" look in a different way.

"Aaaaah... sucks" I thought and now kept looking at the roadside shops and stalls.

That's the last stop and they don't move. When I crossed them on way to the door, they both were staring at me or I'd rather say "the pair was staring at me".
I gave a "VERY cheap" look like "yeeeekhhh.. get looooost" and with that satisfaction and happiness I royally got down the bus to find another random bus and got into it.

My phone rings and I'm asked to return home. "pheww, sigh.. Huh huh huh" I felt and next time I do anything like this, people at home will be privileged to use my phone.

Got down this and got another bus back home.

Now the last seat!!!
that same couple!!!
They'd have brushed off any doubt they had that I wasn't really watching them NOW. And now, would even be thinking that I'm following THEM!!

"You're using the bus like this tooo!!!........ ??"
whatever.. I thought. It was quite romantic ;-) though

Now what could they be thinking "He's looking at me only": GIRL
"No.. He's looking at me. I think I know him somewhere. He could be one of my friends's friends": BOY

"you always say you know everyone!!" : GIRL
"However, Boys don't stare at boys" : GIRL again

"Not sure about that.... But, boys... hmmm, will definitely not watch you..": BOY

He he :-)
I'm planning a random trip out of the city this time... Somewhere far. Take the first bus you find

Apr 9, 2009

Riddles twiddle you to the middle

Who'll He be??
How will I recognize Him?
The one who'll solve all my riddles?

Will He surface out of the crowd one day?
or will He descend from the heavens
when watching the sky I lazily lay?

Will the skies roar when he emerges out?
or will someone look at him with doubt?

Will He walk on the ground or off it?

Will He bear a Halo, so that I can identify Him?
or will I see Him the day before in my dream?

Will He look like the most handsome one,
carrying a flute and radiating charm all around??
Or will He be someone sweating out to feed his sons?
to the every day necessities, his soul bound?

First of all, will I be able to see Him?
or is He someone who can only be felt?
like "the Untranscendable Being".

Will it be Him, the Creator?
or one of His creations??

Who'll it be that will solve all my riddles? 

Amongst this inner chaos and external disturbance,
I suddenly hear my heart pound.
defining all these 20 years, at a glance.
but never in my senses was it so profound.

I'm still looking into the air, 
Disturbed, but calming down
Confused, but things clearing now...

Heart beating incessantly
with short gaps and heavy thuds

I hear them loud and clear
louder and clearer than ever before...

I stand on the ground,
emerging out of myself,
like many of His creations, I can be seen.
But not my heart or what's inside it,
They can only be felt.
I can find neither a question nor an answer,
both are being equally dealt.

My body stopped vibrating,
and I calmed down.
Air started to flow.

pending for 18 months!one of those thoughts that can scoop your mind

Apr 3, 2009

In the End

All these years that I've been listening to Linkin Park's "In the End" almost religiously, I understood it's depth or meaning only today!!!

Pain expressed as sarcasm.. Almost blaming..

In a sense, its lucky if you become famous like them.. Whatever they say will be recorded, remembered and sang and screamed. No one bothers about the other side!!

two years work

I found a book of letters of Swami Vivekananda to his disciples in India when He was searching for solutions to India's problems.
I got that book 6 years back and I read it day and night... I read and re-read it... Unknowingly I wrote those quotes, His thoughts and His speeches everywhere in my diary.

Just a few of them
Opening page of my diary I wrote something, but it's used very commonly, so I'll not mention it here


"Up, up, the long night is passing, the light is approaching, the wave has risen and now, nothing will be able to stop it's tidal fury"
"Worn out, but don't rust out"
"To an ordinary Indian, everyday necessity is too hideous to allow him to think of anything (spirituality) else."
"India wants the sacrifice of atleast a thousand of her young men - MEN, mind, and not brutes."
"Hundreds will fall in the struggle, hundreds will be ready to take it up. I may die here unsuccessful, another will take up the task. You know the disease, you know the remedy, only have faith"
"Dawn doesn't come twice to wake a man"

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