you can find the world in a person's diary who thinks He's the world

Nov 13, 2009

Exception(al)


Nov 1, 2009

Who am I?

a guest article By

Have you seen your tears dipping down at a slow rate, when every tear reminds you the agony of your existence in the world. When I watch my tears, I see my darkside with a wry smile. What really are we? we'll die one or the other day…" Every man dies, not every man really lives"
Yet we get attached to the social customary. Through all these years my questions remained unanswered. Even when my hope was lost and faith faded, I lived... and I still live!??
Every day I wake up to be a different person, but at the end of the day I remain the same.. I remind myself "even today, my questions weren't answered". one becomes an atheist, agnostic in search of his answers.
Man is powerful, but has to bow down before nature. Yet we lie to ourself every day that we'll live tomorrow.

Everyman wants to be successful but with dissimilar definitions.

Am I alone on this planet when I work in solitude. I haven't been sleeping for years because of my never ending search for answers.


All of a sudden, I visualize my dear ones leaving this world for ever, but I convince myself that they are with me atleast for 'this day'. Everyday, do u think the journey of your life starts again? If yes, I ask you "what for?", to achieve what?? Every journey must have a goal.
How will you convince your soul that your existence is necessary today, love pauses you for a moment or for some years but, one or the other day the knock of your questions starts over again…

Man loves to escape from solitude.
May be that's the reason why he chases success through out his life. He keeps his mind busy all time either through love, friendship, family or work… these remain momentary but your days of solitude are waiting for you…

When ever one fails in reaching his goals, the words "kartha, karma, kriya" find their way out with ease.. man is meant to taste all sorts of emotions in life so as to stay away from solitude…
….that’s how one prevents himself from thinking about such questions…
I don't take any sedatives nor do I drink and thus spend most of my time in solitude. So, these questions kept chasing me since childhood… that’s how I became nocturnal and workaholic in order to escape from such mental suffering… but these sufferings became mundane.

What kept and keeps saints alive? When they got disgusted with social life… are they in search of questions like those I have been chasing after.. should I call myself a saint or does this happen to every one, one or the other day??
I've seen death touching me for seconds, It was a big pause for a 'moment'

I'd love to see death and like to know what it is really?? what makes it a taboo subject .. why does everyone fear it.
Though, I may get all my questions answered one day, I'm not sure whether I would be able to share these stuff with the world because death divides us….!
or
May be birth divides us to be alive in different sects but death unites us.


addition: Birth says: Go, be an individual. Let the world recognize your presence!! whereas, Death unites all of us. Whether those the world cannot forget or those the world had no clue of...
-----ranjith

Sep 28, 2009

like a Brinjal

When I thought I'd prepare something diiferent from the everyday Dal and potato, I saw this Brinjal in the refrigerator. It's called Egg Plant(how i got to know is another long story!) here.

Well, I would've never been able to cook it whole.. it was large! so, i chopped it and then put some oil in the pan and put these chopped egg plant(s!!!) into the pan.

Now, what's going on? They started absorbing all the oil I put! I didn't expect that!

(thinking no one told me about brinjal absorbing oil while frying since childhood) I kept adding more oil until they can absorb no more.

Some time later, the pieces started shrinking and desorption of oil started (undergrad in chemical engg.). i didn't expect this either. Now, I started removing oil.. by dipping a cloth into it and washing the cloth immediately and repeating all this.

The oil was hot and it was a lot!
The situation went bad!!


But then I started admiring Brinjal. It's like they're giving back whatever they have taken. It's like they are returning back everything they've ever taken.
Then I thought, if at all I get to speak in public and have to describe someone who's done lots of work for the society, i would say "He gave back to the society everything he took from it, He's like a BRINJAL to our society."

But then, it'll sound weird.

I'll have to explain them my brinjal story. Which would sound weirder!!

Guess how'll it be like if I said "He is like an Egg Plant to the society!!!"

Weirdest!!!

Well, it's around 4 in the evening now, I have got THREEE[!!! 8-( ] classes tomorrow and then I've to start doing all those homeworks and that's why I'm online..!!!!!!! and this is waaaht I'm doin!!!!!!!!!! aaaw!

Sep 20, 2009

phew!!!

well, my recent posts have been a loot different from earlier!! and have been of a completely different mood!!! self sacrifice... sorry... self review!! well, u need not worry about this... keep reading...

Life's beautiful

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UNUSUAL
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Night before VISA 1 interview

- I shut down the system imediately after I thought I should

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REJECTION
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Evening after the VISA 1 interview (on the road)

- Everyone were honking and I thought they were all doing it at me, knowing I got rejected!!

People who got rejected over something must know how it feels!! I cannot explain it to others!
No idea how i got over that!!! Life's beautiful.. :)

***or is life too fast?****

Sep 7, 2009

Amateur

thought i'd pen down my first cooking experiences! that's such an important thing that has started in life!! for me ofcourse!!
don't feel like! glurrbubbb!!! what theee!!!! 

Sep 6, 2009

NYC


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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You find yourself walking on concrete floor,

Either left or right, it's all concrete again,

you wonder what place it is!

You check behind you, and you find giants walking,

not walking, but almost running,

Then you see forward and find b-h-ea-eautiful women everywhere,

Now you really wonder what place this could be!!!

Neither left nor right...
Not forward, not backwards,

You look upwards,

to find blue between the buildings, the sky,

The sky in which there's a plane every minute
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

uhh ooh!! wake up bro, open your eyes now, you were dreaming of New York City.

Aug 28, 2009

Ahimsa


somebody:
What!!!! you want to FIGHT the Empire without doing anything???

Gandhi: No, by letting them do anything. {placid smile, walking away}

somebody: ----- !!! {"You're crazy, Let's see how far you'll go with it"}

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Then, Gandhi fought.. .Gandhi fought against those senile first.. He went a long way from their intransigence... many others walked with him. They all together, defeated "the Empire where Sun never sets".

Aug 22, 2009

a thing or two!

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If the fire's not hurting you, it doesn't mean it is cold. It only means, you're away from it.

---- Ranjith
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The humanity keeps boasting of it's creativity and art without looking above it, into the sky. The clouds make patterns to remind us of originality.

---- a "li'l confused" Ranjith

Longing

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Felt like, one of those winds ruffling my hair was her wish to touch me!

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Aug 4, 2009

Farewell

Well, this is what i spoke on our Farewell day.. management farewell by the way! on behalf of our class.. these set of scratched papers I found while searching for someother thing! I did edit this slightly

*****
Good afternoon to all the elders on the dias and off the dias.. Hi friends & Hey third years

We'd firstly like to thank the department and you people for organizing this. We're very grateful.

Now that we're graduating or rather leaving the college, I'd like to remind you that we're just 120 people graduating as Chemical Engineers from Osmania.. and a slightly greater number from all over AP and we people here definitely belong to the best among them. We have to realize how special we are, compared to the thousands of other engineers graduating every year.

In shaping such special 60 individuals, the most important factor is the faculty and lab staff.

Our HOD Mr.Charyulu Sir was always wanted us to lead a life of purity and honesty and guided us towards it. Those things he used to point out and explain all played vital in shaping us.

With R.Sreedhar Rao sir, it has always been a journey of learning. Especially during the project seminars, we used to sit admiring him and his intellect. He once said "Engineering is a mini-world" and we realized it every moment since then.

We learned a lot out of these 4 years at CBIT. It has been a learning place.. a playing space and what not?? Everything.. A second home to all of us.

During Ananth Kumar sir's classes, the subject used to get absorbed on it's own and during Naga Prapurna ma'am's classes the subject used to get injected directly into our veins. We used to get so thorough as though we always knew those concepts.

B.Sreedhar Rao sir's and Balakrishna sir's classes were always fun-filled and we all like them a lot for that.

At present, we're missing Sitaramayya sir and Soumya ma'am here from the faculty who taught us. Sitaramayya Sir!! aah, we regard him as GOD of chemical engineering. Special thanks to him for his clarity and ease at subject.

Now, you JUNIORS. you people are going to be the senior most students in college in few months from now. All the best to you.
Together, we almost bagged the overall Shruthi Cup. Better luck next time.

All through our association we could've been slightly harsh towards you guys. Forget it, it's not intentional. Also, there are many good things between us to be remembered.

One suggestion, we 4th years wanted to give you: PLAN your 4th year.
All of your MUST plan your career paths in this vacation you'll be getting. It's high time you realize this. All the best.

Thankyou. Take care.

well, covering 4 years in few minutes was hard but I tried my level best :) thankyou :)
***********

Jul 28, 2009

that's ME

Just any boy, with
beliefs, disbeliefs, decisions, precisions, feelings, fears, gears, notions, motions, what not!! everything about everything in life... MY life and MY thoughts

Jul 8, 2009

Moments... survived.. surviving

Like someone spalshing water all over with a bucket... cold water.. hitting hard.. couldn't open my eyes... through a small slit between my eye lids.. I could see few lights.. dimmer ones farther and some bright and near.. constantly changing postions... Incapable of estimating the speed!

I had to reach home!! I could have waited! No, I had to reach home!

My hands holding the bike's handle... they looked pale.. they looked wrinkled... they were shivering/// Indeed my whole body was shaking... eyes opened only If I saw downwards!! rain has formed a continuously running water-film on my eyes... For sometime I drove with one hand, using the other to wipe water off my eyes.. I tried hard to stop the cold leaking into me by cuddling into the raincoat (ya, I was wearing one.. which was of no use!)

It was two years back when I was riding home from Imliban.. around 12 in the night... My bike.. almost closed eyes!!... rash traffic.. our roads.. a downpour..!! Dunno how I survived that night!!!

When I reached home, I find my eyes bluee... face white as a ghost! and my body was shrunken due to the cold..
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This moment, I sit idle.. This moment that I'm here.. in this chair.. in my home, sweet home.. with brother whom I can see sleeping... and sense parents in the other room.. and feel happy about sona loittering somewhere around... The assurance of all these souls around.. the safety.. I get food on time.. I'm asked if I had lunch... If I had breakfast.. If I want something///

This very moment that I'm here.. that I'm idle.. though not happy about it, but surely not regretting about anything in life... This very moment

Wish every moment from now would be at least half better as this one!! pessimistic!!! well, even that doesn't help... many months are gonna be worse!!!

That fact makes me smile..!!

Help me!

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*********************

That was just one night through which I survived.. there are many more.. soo many more instances... every time I thought

"uuhh, this is it"
"this is the end"
"Ohh shit! it's over"
"Thank god!!"

I almost hit the edge of a divider! almost ran into an open man hole..! almost nudged the edge of the bus! Almost went under the tyres!!

Just soo many times.. It was always dangerous living on my bike... It's not the need to drive fast... but the frustration to lag behind so many!!! when the roads are empty, I drive much slower!!

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I feel like a hypocrite when I remember those things I told but couldn't do!!! not promises!! but other things!

I did many things I said.. I said many things I did!! but not those... those things which normal people don't try...

well, yeah that's it!!!

Jul 7, 2009

Escape

I was expecting patients (like lookin like patients) while entering the Institute of Preventive Medicine. Bewildered when I found tens of students like me who have come for some kind of vaccination. Seemed like only those leaving India require them!

Well, other than that went no where today! quite boring isn't it. well, I did supplement it however. When the shutters were just closing and people running home.

It was slightly drizzling and late in the evening when I was out to bring some crap.. I was returning home and while entering the apartment, my soul grunts "COME OOONN"

Pheww.. sigh!!! "Ok" I say and we (me, my soul) set out on a short trip. It was drizzling (I know!! second time) and cold... very cold.

The second time I come home.. same grunting.. and this time, went right to a flyover.. :-) :-) The wind blowing hard on my face.. Felt like a cold wightless handkerchief just drifting away on my face, touching my hair. When I sense my hair flying while driving, I feel like John Abraham's hair style.. well I see the mirror and I find wires on my head!

Anyone who asks me a lift, gets it. Yeah just as I passed one guy, I saw through the corner of my eye, he asking me lift and feeling maybe he missed the oppourtunity. I stop a few feet away... he comes running and asks

"ekkadi varaku velthunnaru?" (*with respect* "what's your destination??")

Me "Ahmmm... ahemmm!!! aumm! straight velthunnanu" (*pointing down the road* "I'm goin straight")

Smiling, he got onto the bike..

The rain striked harder now, the wind became louder. With lots of trouble he was trying to engage me in a conversation.

Trying to look backwards and shouting, I said "Nadapadam konchem kashtam ga undi, let me concentrate" (Let me concentrate on my driving)

I didn't see his face again till he got down. He conveyed his Thanks. Immediately I took a U-turn to go back. Now, his eyes were fixed on me. He was surely more grateful now. I liked the look and the thing that I'm gone crazy these days :-)

The wind got louder and the roads got noisier but a faint but high pitched "Thank you very much" managed to reach my ears.

A faint smile managed to escape my lips.

Jul 2, 2009

just checking e-mail posting

same thing@!

May 30, 2009

Kids in love


GIRL: I'm sleepy

BOY: Why so early?

GIRL: Dunno.. But, I DON'T WANT TO SLEEP :-( !!! I want to talk to you

BOY: {blushing...} :-) :-)

GIRL: {sad} say something... :-(

BOY: ------------

GIRL: {more sad and slowly} say something :-( :-(

BOY: I love you :-) {blushing}

GIRL: :-) :-)

BOY: Once upon a time... {she interrupts}

GIRL: wow, a story?

BOY: yes, a stoory :-)

GIRL: I love you too :-)

{now, both of them chuckling}

BOY: This is the story of why and how the Earth has come to existence and why all this life on it and the answer to all the scientists and philosophers's...

GIRL: philiosphy??? :-( By the way you started with "once upon a time"

BOY: listen monkey..

GIRL: Don't call me monkey :-)

BOY: Ok stupid, listen now..
{quickly}
Once upon a time, thousands of years ago... GOD was playing dice...

There were few gods who could never come to conclusion about who's the greatest amongst them.

GIRL: sounds like a fable for small children..

BOY: that's why I'm telling you my dear... listen nowww.. I should tape your mouth

GIRL: :-) what if I feel like kissing you and my mouth's taped??

BOY: :-) :-) I'll do that thing for you.. you signal me when you feel like that

GIRL: you're not telling the story???? :-)

BOY: very smart... Among those present were
- The Air god
- The Fire god

GIRL: The Soil god.... The Moon god!

BOY: No, No,
- The Nature goddess
- The Water god

and the actual GOD acted the judge.

GOD: well, you guys have been obstructing one anothers duties to prove each others's greatness. But, the right way to prove oneself is doing the work in the best possible way he can. The person who'll do what he can do perfectly will be the greatest.

The Omnipotent then threw a dice into the space

{Slowly saying}

GOD: you people need a stage to showcase your talents.. and this is it... THE EARTH..

GIRL: A talent show??

BOY: yes, for gods.. and the main god is the judge.

GIRL: who'll be the anchor then?? :-)

BOY: the main god... he's both the judge and the anchor.

GIRL: Hmmm.... okaay!

BOY:
{with sound effects}
The Earth was burning hot when it flew into the space and The water god was about to do somethin when GOD stopped him

GOD: wait there, to win this competition, none of you should interrupt others' work.

The four gods agreed.

The water god then poured himself all over the earth and cooled it down and also formed huge water bodies

GIRL: called oceans

BOY: {continuing} :-) were created... They were so deep that they seemed bottomless. Main god was very impressed.

GIRL: hmmm.. :-)

BOY: Then came the Nature Goddess.. She just flew around the water bodies and the oceans teemed with life... all kinds of life... small to huge... black, blue, green, white, every colour... GOD was Amazed with these creatures and the creator of them, the Nature Goddess.
She couldn't create life on the land however.

GIRL: No Air! So, the soo called Air god created air??

BOY: yaa.... soo the Air god enveloped the earth.. he covered the entire space on earth... he was everywhere... the narrowest tunnel or the deepest cave or anything. He was present everywhere. This omnispresence rivalled that of the main god and he was awestruck with that show.

Now, the Nature goddess created more creatures. These could walk and think... some kind of life was found everywhere on earth. They collectively gave rise to beautiful eco systems..

GIRL: what's all this dearrr???

BOY: Life existed for a long time before Fire god entered and made it easy.. He made many useful tools for men.. He was involved in every functionning of the Man..

He somehow managed to impress GOD..

{After observing their works for thousands of years}

GOD: All were impressive. But no one could make the one perfect masterpiece to be adjudged the winner!!!!

BOY: Now, someone should cry... we see it daily in our talent shows... either the participant, the judge or the audience or even the ancohr... sometimes everyone///

Nature Goddess: {crying} You show what it is.... what it looks like... beautiful than a peacock, graceful than a swan, {still crying}

Water God: deeper than an ocean, more wonderful than a waterfalls,

BOY: God knew it was time to do it. He observed all the best qualities in everything ever existed and anything that'll ever exist. He worked out different conmbinations and in the end came up with it.

He made you...

GIRL: what??

BOY: He made YOU..

GIRL: aaaahaan!!!

BOY: Yaa, he made you... :-)

GIRL: {disbelief} stop it...

BOY: and he made me to take care of you :-)

you're my only love :-) so you're present wherever my imagination could go.. You're omnipresent...

you're the most beautiful girl, both in and out

you're the deepest to understand

you're the most colourful, you're everything to me....

BOY: ooiee, say something...!!

BOY: Hellooo..... heeeeellllooooooooooooo!!!!!

BOY: wwwwhhattt?? slept offf??!!!
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BOY: good night sweetheart... sweetest dreams.. miss you :-(

May 5, 2009

glurblurrb!

at this time of the night... not at all sleepy... I'm blogging!!! feels nice though...

Power cuts.. power cuts a-a-n-d power cuts.. Giving sometime to use the terrace.. all these days it's only been star gazing at nights... and today it's late than always...

I found out things that rejuvenate me.. after the defeat of Deccan chargers.. it was the cold and strong breeze and the sense of rain... also the clouds that brought me back!!

Well, thinking about things... and not thinking at all about anything has been the case all while.. (!!!)

When I asked people in the beginning, no one agreed, but now two guys want to come with me on the surprise trip...

oh shit.. I forgot something.. byee

Apr 28, 2009

Distraction, but then

you're driving

you see a girl on her father's bike, sitting behind him

you tell to yourself "hmmm.. she's good"

She looks at you when you overtake them.

A smile arises, a shrewd one.. however, you just move on but later blushing :-)


Zephyr

Belated wishes to one of the first and finest writers I came to know. The below poem "Mirage" is her work and if personified, it'll turn into a present day individual.

"I know not myself,

Maybe you know me?
Look into my eyes,
Tell me what you see.

An innocent girl,
Or a crafty witch,
Between these roles
Do I appear to switch?

I stand at the crossroads,
Of reality and bright dreams,
I start to move forward,
At least, that is how it seems.

Which path do I take?
Do you think you know?
Radiant dreams by a friend,
Gloomy reality by a foe?

Do you think that you have
Understood the riddle,
Or have you lost yourself,
Somewhere in the middle?

These words I pen,
Are a mirror of my heart,
Or they simply might be,
A barrier to deadly darts.

If you have read this far,
Then you may know me,
And in that illusion,
I will let you be."

This post is a tribute to the poem which perfectly captures the puzzle and parody of present day life and a birthday greeting to it's writer. Thousand times I read it and it still feels fresh and true.

and this is the link to her http://zephyr27.blogspot.com/

Apr 12, 2009

ENTROPY

Haa, every time I told my mom "I'm going to friend's place", I did go... but not this time ;-)

Went to the bus stop to catch the first bus.

I wonder whether Hyderabad is full of pairs and couples going all around or whether I'm observing only them.
I find soo many of them everywhere.. indeed I'm finding only them. Here too, as soon as I got in, I found one pair sitting near the door.

The bus was mostly empty and I took the window seat. It was pollution outside so conductor closed all the windows. Now as good as any other place (huh!). I was trying to look through the tinted glass, what was going on outside. Election time, so all roads full of guys on bikes with flags, campaigning for their Favorite (maximum paying) leaders.

Now and then, I was looking at the other window and door too. Just when I was turning towards the door that girl of the before said pair looked at me. Then she stared at me. I was like "Ahemm"

Some time later, I was busy watching this guy screaming while doing some feats on his bike on the road and I followed him towards the door and he disappeared. Just then, she looks again. This time like I'm one weirdo watching them people.

Third time and fourth time... She now whispers something and the guy looks at me too. I wanted to tell "Aaaaahh.. This is too much.. I'm not observing you, not even bothered about you... you hyper idiotic girl, you're looking at me every time I see that side." Looked like that guys perceiving my this "perplexed" look in a different way.

"Aaaaah... sucks" I thought and now kept looking at the roadside shops and stalls.

That's the last stop and they don't move. When I crossed them on way to the door, they both were staring at me or I'd rather say "the pair was staring at me".
I gave a "VERY cheap" look like "yeeeekhhh.. get looooost" and with that satisfaction and happiness I royally got down the bus to find another random bus and got into it.

My phone rings and I'm asked to return home. "pheww, sigh.. Huh huh huh" I felt and next time I do anything like this, people at home will be privileged to use my phone.

Got down this and got another bus back home.

Now the last seat!!!
that same couple!!!
They'd have brushed off any doubt they had that I wasn't really watching them NOW. And now, would even be thinking that I'm following THEM!!

"You're using the bus like this tooo!!!........ ??"
whatever.. I thought. It was quite romantic ;-) though

Now what could they be thinking "He's looking at me only": GIRL
"No.. He's looking at me. I think I know him somewhere. He could be one of my friends's friends": BOY

"you always say you know everyone!!" : GIRL
"However, Boys don't stare at boys" : GIRL again

"Not sure about that.... But, boys... hmmm, will definitely not watch you..": BOY

He he :-)
_________________________
I'm planning a random trip out of the city this time... Somewhere far. Take the first bus you find
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Apr 9, 2009

Riddles twiddle you to the middle




Who'll He be??
How will I recognize Him?
The one who'll solve all my riddles?

Will He surface out of the crowd one day?
or will He descend from the heavens
when watching the sky I lazily lay?

Will the skies roar when he emerges out?
or will someone look at him with doubt?

Will He walk on the ground or off it?

Will He bear a Halo, so that I can identify Him?
or will I see Him the day before in my dream?

Will He look like the most handsome one,
carrying a flute and radiating charm all around??
Or will He be someone sweating out to feed his sons?
to the every day necessities, his soul bound?

First of all, will I be able to see Him?
or is He someone who can only be felt?
like "the Untranscendable Being".

Will it be Him, the Creator?
or one of His creations??

Who'll it be that will solve all my riddles? 

Amongst this inner chaos and external disturbance,
I suddenly hear my heart pound.
defining all these 20 years, at a glance.
but never in my senses was it so profound.

I'm still looking into the air, 
Disturbed, but calming down
Confused, but things clearing now...

Heart beating incessantly
with short gaps and heavy thuds

I hear them loud and clear
louder and clearer than ever before...

I stand on the ground,
sweating,
emerging out of myself,
like many of His creations, I can be seen.
But not my heart or what's inside it,
They can only be felt.
I can find neither a question nor an answer,
both are being equally dealt.

My body stopped vibrating,
and I calmed down.
Air started to flow.

%%%%%%%%%%%%%
pending for 18 months!one of those thoughts that can scoop your mind

Apr 3, 2009

In the End

All these years that I've been listening to Linkin Park's "In the End" almost religiously, I understood it's depth or meaning only today!!!

Pain expressed as sarcasm.. Almost blaming..

In a sense, its lucky if you become famous like them.. Whatever they say will be recorded, remembered and sang and screamed. No one bothers about the other side!!

two years work

I found a book of letters of Swami Vivekananda to his disciples in India when He was searching for solutions to India's problems.
I got that book 6 years back and I read it day and night... I read and re-read it... Unknowingly I wrote those quotes, His thoughts and His speeches everywhere in my diary.

Just a few of them
Opening page of my diary I wrote something, but it's used very commonly, so I'll not mention it here

Others

"Up, up, the long night is passing, the light is approaching, the wave has risen and now, nothing will be able to stop it's tidal fury"
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"Worn out, but don't rust out"
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"To an ordinary Indian, everyday necessity is too hideous to allow him to think of anything (spirituality) else."
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"India wants the sacrifice of atleast a thousand of her young men - MEN, mind, and not brutes."
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"Hundreds will fall in the struggle, hundreds will be ready to take it up. I may die here unsuccessful, another will take up the task. You know the disease, you know the remedy, only have faith"
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/
"Dawn doesn't come twice to wake a man"

Mar 25, 2009

Never knew eyes could speak!! :-)

I was amongst my friends,
Discussing about a presentation

She was amongst her friends,
being congratulated by everyone,

I wanted to see see her once
I see her a thousand times every day
Even in my dreams
But then, I wanted to see her again

I looked towards the group she was with
She was already watching me!!!! :-) , Smiling

My eyes widened in surprise!!!
I immediately withdrew and resumed talking...

I was looking towards my friends now...
But, I can see nothing, other than
That Smile,
Those eyes, conveying a multitude of expressions..

The smile, which can strike off all my grief
Those eyes, as innocent as a child's
and the person, for whom I can wait a lifetime

That day passed, many nights passed, I came across many people and many more.... but I still can see her eyes.. No wonder... I never knew that eyes could speak!

Her smile flashes across my mind and suddenly I'm totally occupied with her.. and I realize I forgot what I was thinking earlier!!!

The Reason why

The reason why I haven't been blogging these days!!! not that important... but let's check it.. I've no work.,.. just now gave an exam!

Sucking exams...?!!! I waste more time than usual during exams.. so not the reason why

Dumb project...?!!! hmmm could be some weeks back.. not now!

a dumber lab record!!!? we even covered this record(file) with a plastic cover!! got this done too some time back... after lots n lots of "vyaya prayaasa"... people who know telugu will understand that... for others, the record was as difficult as you could pronounce that word...

Problem with internet??!! hmmm noo... I did post some times from a net cafe!!

Bored with blogging!?!! Never as of now!

Well, the reason is this language options that i've enabled in my account... Whenever i type something. it used to get changed into telugu alphabets... Well I didn't know how to disable it.. I searched all settings and everything, but never clicked on that ALphabet thing on this new post window!!! should've done this long back...

Next, time for a nice post!!! hope that happens before exams get over....

and hey, we friends recently had an open challenge for girls...

Target was to "clear all the subjects" and the conditions were :-

1. Never sit attentively in classes
2. Never touch the books till the day before exam.
3. Watch 3 movies the day before
4. Drink that night
5. Do combined studies
6. Do night outs continuously for a week
7. Out of the 5 units, have 3 units untouched till the exam day's morning
8. Stay cool before the exam after all this!!!!
9. Watch everyone sitting in the examination room atleast once and see what they are doing..

and the target I told na, "to clear all the subjects"
We're proud to have reached the final semester... yeaaahhh :-)

Mar 2, 2009

ships never seemed to move!

No sound other than the waves
the mild breeze along our ears
the noisy shore making you calm

No light other than the stars
Moon was absent in helping them soothe us

Eyes fixed to the dark sky above
Bodies lying on the sand below
Relaxing,
Relaxing,
Relaxing, We lied there
for what seemed to be an eternity
We lied there motionless

Amongst an affluence of feelings
breathing heavily, with joy
hearts getting louder
and thoughts wandering faster.

We saw vague shadows of ships near the horizon
they seemed as motionless as we were
Our lives never seemed to move
We were isolated from the rest of the world
We now don't care about it
It's only us now..
We wondered how we spent all these 20 years
How we missed this solitary place all this while

Amidst this turbulence of emotions, my friend spoke
"lovely, isn't it?" "we should be here again, together"
Smiles on the remaining two of our faces :-) :-)
We knew we had to be there again
We had to experince it again
we had it to experience it every moment, if possbile!

We were three
We decided, we'll return here surely
after few years., With girl friends
and again after few years, with wives...

he he :-) just kidding

We decided to return with wives...
and make them expericnce what we did...
The place is the free country Goa.. the beach was Vagator, nearby our room... the time was 11.30 in the night... had the best of times.. lost ourselves

Feb 27, 2009

wanna wanna wanna

want to write something
But nothing much to be shared

All bad things
bad thoughts
Nothing can put my spirit down for long
same with those above

Friends keep expecting
but fail to expect what we are expecting

when I'm in this mood, I cannot write poetry
cause I'm not a poet
Not a natural...

So some time else.. buhbyeee.... well it's getting better and better every day for me... "IT" is Hell...

Feb 14, 2009

few things

"white hair is a sign of age, not wisdom" :-)

**************
Fortune called MOM
**************
having some one,
someone thinking of us all the time,
some one waiting for us round the clock,
some one waiting for our word all day,
a person whose topic to talk is always us 
is such a great fortune...

**************
Candle-lit dinner
**************
What a night It'll be..
A night with your beloved..
How romantic the dinner would be..
A Dinner, supposed to fill your heart and not stomach..
Candle light, dimmed amidst those sparkling eyes..

**********
Passion
**********
you're out with the day's work..
Spirit seems heavier than the body

you fall onto the sofa..
fingers complain to move

mom asks whether you want something to eat
you make a great effort to find you don't want to utter a word

your brain suffocates to think
you're no better than dead for the day..

Then, 
you need this elixir of life
PASSION

If you're a painter, a white paper will enliven you
blood will flood your veins
and your presence will fill the space...

noooru velllla bettadam ika mee vanthu.. :-O




:-) :-) :-) :-) :-)



INKOKATI
eee sari meee vanthu gaaa, chevulu koosesukondi... ntr acting chusi, kallu podichesukondi... aaaaahaa...


Feb 9, 2009

DAY MIX

A speck of fear

A sense of belonging

Enough of isolation

A Flood of thoughts

A pinch of perplexion

A touch of dexterity

A change in direction

A gush of surprise that I'M thinking so much about so many things!!


THIS IS WHAT TODAY HAS BEEN
No feeling or expression related to one another
Each of them arouse out of different situations
different people
different issues...

On some issues, I had to stop thinking
and on others, I had to start at least now...

Not ready for somethings... have to get ready for the others..

Feb 6, 2009

I know

I suddenly woke up...
Saw around to find darkness everywhere..
But not, at that opening of the curtain
It's a full moon I knew

The iron door started creaking as I touched it
No pigeons flew at that sound
No one was alerted at that jerk
It was sleeping time

I entered the terrace, disturbing the silence.
I could feel the light everywhere,
the breeze on my ears
and the cold around my chest

!

I FELT SOMETHING ELSE TOO

!
!
A warm presence
!

It was not the moon, gloomy and dull
Nor the stars, devoid of light
Neither the wind, nor the walls

I felt a warm presence
that which has brought me here, searching
My assurance of company

I sat in a corner, intrigued, wondering

Some disturbance at the other corner,
where light was dominated by darkness

!
A disturbance
!

I Knew She Was Here,
waiting for me,
smiling at her success at intriguing me once again,
blushing as I was nearing.

I knew she liked me,
I knew she'd come for me.

I knew, a few more steps will reveal
Her, defeating the darkness
!
!
!
!
A few more steps,
!
!
!
A pause,
!
A Gaze at the moon,
then the stars

A moist look at the floor,
then the iron door.

!
!
!
!

I Still can see that night
and sense that warm presence
just like I see these words
and like I sense this paper.

I thought she was here
I only thought..

Feb 2, 2009

Headache

didn't meet my project head today on the account of playing cricket for the department. I just came to know that I'm out of the cricket team, now I will have to meet him tomorrow. So, gotta finish lots of stuff now!

Other than this, waiting for replies from universities. 
My effort is put, 
waiting for the output.

Have a good group of friends who know each other and support each other.Arvind, Shashi, Venkatesh and Me.
Three of us

I like spoiling pictures

Jan 21, 2009

Jaiho

'Jaiho' to the MAESTRO for his Golden Globe(GG).. and for taking Indian music into a new era.. and then slowly Indian culture will enter the world arena as never before... as we've been ever expecting...
If he's got a GG for Jaiho, then I guess he'd've won a GG every year for his earlier works.. Jaiho is a great composition I agree... but even then

Jan 19, 2009

GOA

Goa trip has been refreshing... pressure releasing..

What pressure???? the pressure of 6-day week schedule in the final semester..

Today I realized how daring girls can be... Don't want to expand more on it here...

well Goa has beeen real real great.. better call it FREE COUNTRY, rather than GOA..
it was soo very close to nature... and great great great great
look at this, i'm saying the same word all this while.. cause it has filled my mind and heart with sooo much gratitude that they're unable to process vocabulary...

well, thought of writing a 3-T record about GOA and the trip... with all three of us tourists giving our views and the situations... Don't think it's gonna take shape now... hope it doesn't take too long cause by then, the views will have been changed/biased...

Now, all this cause I'm unable to decide what to write upon... for pics will haveta wait till my system gets normal... it gives out all kindsa noises and sounds... sometimes it vibrates and shuts.. most of the times it gets stuck... well well well, it's not even starting now...
here they are... starting with mine

Jan 12, 2009

Life & Liesure

Past few days, I was gloomy and down, majorly because of my project seminar that has happened today... was preparing the slides, procuring information and charts and pictures, drawing the flowsheets, planning the sequence of presentation, using my CORE knowledge.. he he :-) the last one is quite a fantasy.. Really, A FANTASY... I always wanted to use my chemical engineering knowledge in my chemical engineering under graduation... But never got much oppurtunity, rather I lost interest later...

But, however I pulled off my presentation well.. To say exaactly, pretty well.. Happy for that. B-U-T more happy because I suddenly find sooo much time in Life.. Earlier, just felt soo busy. Even now I've got some uncompleted works like mailing my transcripts to the universities, But I feel all the liesure in this world... The word liesure reminds me of a poem we had in our secondary school i guess. Describing how the author wanted to spend his liesure time, watching the countryside and few more such coool things..

Today while coming back home, I had a discussion with my friend on how to spend time.. HOW TO SPEND TIME... it's ridiculous in 4-2 to keep thinking on how to spend time.. We just have soo many thigns to do.. soo many things to be made sure of.. But, what if doing any of these things doesn't give you enough satisfaction and are not enough fun, you feel like "I want more" and in the end get frustrated saying "Life suuuckcksss".. Now, well that is not a strage feeling to most of us. We were both too feeling this same thing...
Then we started discussing what all we can doo to spend time to buy satisfaction :-)

Me: we can paint things... take a canvas and paint whatever possible... creating modern art is very simple..
Hrishi: yeah, but we'll have to do it on the terrace, if we suddenly get josh while painting, the walls will get spoiled.

Me: oooohhh yeah, I get a new idea.. on my terrace, there's a huge tank, whose walls are plain white.. [wild smile :-)]
Hrishi: you'll paint the wall?
Me: yaa.. why not?

Hrishi: we can learn playing some instrument..
Me: Not guitar... don't do that.. soo mmmany people do that
Hrishi: but, that's the most spirited instrument i feel
Me: yaaa.. maybe.. But soo many people do it

Me: or we can create some music sequences on computer

Me: learn some indian instrument
Hrishi: A flute [interrupting him]
Me: we'll be unable to blow[interrupting me]
Hrishi: yaa.. we cannot..

Me: [looking out of the window, towards the rocks] I always wanted to learn sculpture
Hrishi: but that's sooo hard..
Me: [agreeing with him] suppose we are somehow in the final stage of finishing a sculpture and we do something stupid enough to break that part... Done, the whole thing done...
Hrishi: I know

Me: grow some pet... some easily maintainable pet[interrupting me]
Hrishi: i play cricket at home alone.. from today I'll play tournaments.. with 5 teams, and i'll be playing for all teams..
Me: ha ha.. nice idea.. our favorite team will win.. No expectations, not required..

Me: oooorr, write a script for a film.. the best way to pass time..
Hrishi : yaaa, a creative way to pass time and then we'll improve our writing also..
Me: exaaaactly...

Me: we're going to goa tomorrow
Hrishi: ooh, woow.. great... what plans?
Me: going there to waste time.. Really
Hrishi: ??
Me: to waste time... we're gonna roam, sit still watching the waves, gonna go fishing, then one day for the bird sanctuary there, nearby... one night a bon fire... and then a pub one night.. then the casinoo..
Hrishi: aaah.. sounds greaatt...
Me: :-) and then we're gonna do some more things..
Hrishi: yaaaaa :-) i can understand
Me: No nooo.... nothing like that..
Hrishi: thennn??!!!!
Me: nothing like that for sure... we've many other things to look for in goa... gonna be roaming as far as possible...
Hrishi: -------------

Me: then one more objective to be achieved is to have foood as much and as many varieties as possbile.. gonna taste all sea food available there

Me: then visit an island nearby, they're all supposed to be rich of corals... so gonna go snorkelling..
Hrishi: that rocksss...
Me: u also try doing something naaa
Hrishi: I guess nothing's gonna change until we step on american soil
Me: Ummmm... Nooo.. we can change things.. like seee, i've beem touring all semester.. and my attendance is 60 now..
Hrishi: wwhatever,...
Me: [drowsy, dozing off]
Hrishi: are u sleepy??
Me: [trying to get to full consciousness] aaahhmm yaa... no sleep last night.. a night out..
Hrishi: okkkaayyy

After some time... time not accounted in the universe.. i didn't know how much i lost
[I was shaking]
Hrishi: hey woke u up just to say happy pongal.. byee... Happy journey
Me: byee... [as if whispering] same to you..

After some more time... No idea how much
[I felt a mild thump on my head]
Rajeev: annaa, stop vochindi
Me: Appudeeenaaa??
Rajeev: ??!1!!??!?!!?!?! [in his mind... already one hour travel ra babuu]
Me: Chaa... appudeenaa.. ee madhya bus is very early
Rajeev: ??!!??!?!!? [in his mind.. speak in any one language... how can sentences be clubbed??]
Rajeev: langarhouse loo traffic thapputhundi kada manaki

Me: hey ravi, I'm going to goa tomorrow.. want anything??
Ravi: hmm.. Nooo [half asleep]
Ravi: NOW AWAKE, ya ya, if possible get rum...
Me: okkk :-)
Ravi: IF POSSIBLE..
Me: yeah definitely..

ok then byee... to you too..

I'm gonna name this post after that childhood poem, which surely taught me how to enjoy life.. with that short piece of literature, i later realized..

"life can be drank more passionately than wine
it's touch can be more intimate than a girl's
and it's invaluable in terms of money
much much much precious than one can imagine"

to have such a life, we'll just have to find one having the intent to enjoy life and also the oppurtunity and then we can both extract the most out of life..

Believe me, "Life's wonderful and amazing.. just have to taste it once, to get this tinge"

Jan 1, 2009

PLEAASE WATCH THESE


Pledge to Go Fur-Free at PETA.org




Pledge to Go Fur-Free at PETA.org

Confessions, a few of them.

the "cold night" post was half fiction :-) confessing this too cause friends started asking me to introduce her. Ha ha... neither does this mean Men are dogs or any such sorts.

I got to mention the Arts Museum in Chandigarh... Fabulous paintings and fabulous everything.... Another confession.. After visiting the museum, I wanted some empty space.. The only thing I wanted was some empty space and colour... I wanted it more than anything that moment... I felt the urge to sleight my hand on anything that seemed empty... Subject and time looked immaterial... I didn't want anything to be single coloured... Let me mention one painting I could not forget 2 years since then... 

"A King with his horse galloping from the top of his fort into the ocean beside, into the dark night sky ready to storm... It was dominantly blue, dark blue... with traces of foamy white at the edges where the fort and the waves of the ocean met and where the lightning struck... The King is a Punjabi, understandable with his long beard and turban.. and the horse looked equally fearless with his king on him waving his sword..."


I can tell you more details cause I still see it.. But I'm conscious about the length of my posts. I want to provide it's picture here.. after quite a lot of searching, I could find only this...
Sobha Singh: Painter of the Divine
This is not the picture I was mentioning, but this is the king(Guru Gobind Singh), who was depicted in almost all of Sobha Singh's paintings... And here's his horse... My observation of the horse is because of my love for animals and specifically pets. And I'll add few pics of our Chgandigarh trip here... Awesome city..

When I'm writing something for others to read, I want them to relate that thing to themselves..

And when i read my earlier post now(after a week or so!) I myself couldnot relate to it... It was pretty "not ME".

In the end, men are MEN.. Indeed gentlemen.. not pups or dogs...

But once again resisting my temptation to vary the post... Let me read it later again and say to myself "YOU're sick SOMETIMES"...

The day I posted the previous article, I was sooopar busy... with some university applications thingyy... And i got that idea and somehow wrote it off... and then later on,(when I was still busy) I found a girl's blog and unintentionally read the first few lines of her posts.. The next thing I remember was the the last page of her blog... It just absorbed me... I was like reading reading and reading. I cannot believe this... The ideas were soo deep.. I was lost searching for their abyss... They meant so many things..!!

Let me confess I want such friends who are always new.. Every day, BRAND NEW
***********/*/*/*****
Addition after 878 days
**********/*/*/******
I wouldn't mind friends on meeting whom, I'd be relieved "nothing has changed"

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