ENTROPY

Haa, every time I told my mom "I'm going to friend's place", I did go... but not this time ;-)

Went to the bus stop to catch the first bus.

I wonder whether Hyderabad is full of pairs and couples going all around or whether I'm observing only them.
I find soo many of them everywhere.. indeed I'm finding only them. Here too, as soon as I got in, I found one pair sitting near the door.

The bus was mostly empty and I took the window seat. It was pollution outside so conductor closed all the windows. Now as good as any other place (huh!). I was trying to look through the tinted glass, what was going on outside. Election time, so all roads full of guys on bikes with flags, campaigning for their Favorite (maximum paying) leaders.

Now and then, I was looking at the other window and door too. Just when I was turning towards the door that girl of the before said pair looked at me. Then she stared at me. I was like "Ahemm"

Some time later, I was busy watching this guy screaming while doing some feats on his bike on the road and I followed him towards the door and he disappeared. Just then, she looks again. This time like I'm one weirdo watching them people.

Third time and fourth time... She now whispers something and the guy looks at me too. I wanted to tell "Aaaaahh.. This is too much.. I'm not observing you, not even bothered about you... you hyper idiotic girl, you're looking at me every time I see that side." Looked like that guys perceiving my this "perplexed" look in a different way.

"Aaaaah... sucks" I thought and now kept looking at the roadside shops and stalls.

That's the last stop and they don't move. When I crossed them on way to the door, they both were staring at me or I'd rather say "the pair was staring at me".
I gave a "VERY cheap" look like "yeeeekhhh.. get looooost" and with that satisfaction and happiness I royally got down the bus to find another random bus and got into it.

My phone rings and I'm asked to return home. "pheww, sigh.. Huh huh huh" I felt and next time I do anything like this, people at home will be privileged to use my phone.

Got down this and got another bus back home.

Now the last seat!!!
that same couple!!!
They'd have brushed off any doubt they had that I wasn't really watching them NOW. And now, would even be thinking that I'm following THEM!!

"You're using the bus like this tooo!!!........ ??"
whatever.. I thought. It was quite romantic ;-) though

Now what could they be thinking "He's looking at me only": GIRL
"No.. He's looking at me. I think I know him somewhere. He could be one of my friends's friends": BOY

"you always say you know everyone!!" : GIRL
"However, Boys don't stare at boys" : GIRL again

"Not sure about that.... But, boys... hmmm, will definitely not watch you..": BOY

He he :-)
_________________________
I'm planning a random trip out of the city this time... Somewhere far. Take the first bus you find
----------------------------

Riddles twiddle you to the middle

Who'll He be??

How will I recognize Him?

The one who'll solve all my riddles?

Will He surface out of the crowd one day?
or will He descend from the heavens
when watching the sky I lazily lay?

Will the skies roar when he emerges out?
or will someone look at him with doubt?

Will He walk on the ground or off it?

Will He bear a Halo, so that I can identify Him?
or will I see Him the day before in my dream?

Will He look like the most handsome one,

carrying a flute and radiating charm all around??

Or will He be someone sweating out to feed his sons?

to the every day necessities, his soul bound?

First of all, will I be able to see Him?

or is He someone who can only be felt?

like "the Untranscendable Being".

Will it be Him, the Creator?

or one of His creations??

Who'll it be that will solve all my riddles? 

Amongst this inner chaos and external disturbance,

I suddenly hear my heart pound.

defining all these 20 years, at a glance.

but never in my senses was it so profound.

I'm still looking into the air, 

Disturbed, but calming down

Confused, but things clearing now...

Heart beating incessantly

with short gaps and heavy thuds

I hear them loud and clear

louder and clearer than ever before...

I stand on the ground,

sweating,

emerging out of myself,

like many of His creations, I can be seen.

But not my heart or what's inside it,

They can only be felt.

I can find neither a question nor an answer,

both are being equally dealt.

My body stopped vibrating,

and I calmed down.

Air started to flow.

%%%%%%%%%%%%%

pending for 18 months!one of those thoughts that can scoop your mind

In the End

All these years that I've been listening to Linkin Park's "In the End" almost religiously, I understood it's depth or meaning only today!!!

Pain expressed as sarcasm.. Almost blaming..

In a sense, its lucky if you become famous like them.. Whatever they say will be recorded, remembered and sang and screamed. No one bothers about the other side!!

two years work

I found a book of letters of Swami Vivekananda to his disciples in India when He was searching for solutions to India's problems.
I got that book 6 years back and I read it day and night... I read and re-read it... Unknowingly I wrote those quotes, His thoughts and His speeches everywhere in my diary.

Just a few of them
Opening page of my diary I wrote something, but it's used very commonly, so I'll not mention it here

Others

"Up, up, the long night is passing, the light is approaching, the wave has risen and now, nothing will be able to stop it's tidal fury"
/

/
"Worn out, but don't rust out"
/

/

"To an ordinary Indian, everyday necessity is too hideous to allow him to think of anything (spirituality) else."
/

/
"India wants the sacrifice of atleast a thousand of her young men - MEN, mind, and not brutes."
/

/
"Hundreds will fall in the struggle, hundreds will be ready to take it up. I may die here unsuccessful, another will take up the task. You know the disease, you know the remedy, only have faith"
/

/
"Dawn doesn't come twice to wake a man"

Never knew eyes could speak!! :-)

I was amongst my friends,
Discussing about a presentation

She was amongst her friends,
being congratulated by everyone,

I wanted to see see her once
I see her a thousand times every day
Even in my dreams
But then, I wanted to see her again

I looked towards the group she was with
She was already watching me!!!! :-) , Smiling

My eyes widened in surprise!!!
I immediately withdrew and resumed talking...

I was looking towards my friends now...
But, I can see nothing, other than
That Smile,
Those eyes, conveying a multitude of expressions..

The smile, which can strike off all my grief
Those eyes, as innocent as a child's
and the person, for whom I can wait a lifetime

That day passed, many nights passed, I came across many people and many more.... but I still can see her eyes.. No wonder... I never knew that eyes could speak!

Her smile flashes across my mind and suddenly I'm totally occupied with her.. and I realize I forgot what I was thinking earlier!!!

The Reason why

The reason why I haven't been blogging these days!!! not that important... but let's check it.. I've no work.,.. just now gave an exam!

Sucking exams...?!!! I waste more time than usual during exams.. so not the reason why

Dumb project...?!!! hmmm could be some weeks back.. not now!

a dumber lab record!!!? we even covered this record(file) with a plastic cover!! got this done too some time back... after lots n lots of "vyaya prayaasa"... people who know telugu will understand that... for others, the record was as difficult as you could pronounce that word...

Problem with internet??!! hmmm noo... I did post some times from a net cafe!!

Bored with blogging!?!! Never as of now!

Well, the reason is this language options that i've enabled in my account... Whenever i type something. it used to get changed into telugu alphabets... Well I didn't know how to disable it.. I searched all settings and everything, but never clicked on that ALphabet thing on this new post window!!! should've done this long back...

Next, time for a nice post!!! hope that happens before exams get over....

and hey, we friends recently had an open challenge for girls...

Target was to "clear all the subjects" and the conditions were :-

1. Never sit attentively in classes
2. Never touch the books till the day before exam.
3. Watch 3 movies the day before
4. Drink that night
5. Do combined studies
6. Do night outs continuously for a week
7. Out of the 5 units, have 3 units untouched till the exam day's morning
8. Stay cool before the exam after all this!!!!
9. Watch everyone sitting in the examination room atleast once and see what they are doing..

and the target I told na, "to clear all the subjects"
We're proud to have reached the final semester... yeaaahhh :-)

ships never seemed to move!

No sound other than the waves
the mild breeze along our ears

the noisy shore making you calm

No light other than the stars

Moon was absent in helping them soothe us

Eyes fixed to the dark sky above

Bodies lying on the sand below

Relaxing,

Relaxing,

Relaxing, We lied there

for what seemed to be an eternity

We lied there motionless

Amongst an affluence of feelings

breathing heavily, with joy

hearts getting louder

and thoughts wandering faster.

We saw vague shadows of ships near the horizon

they seemed as motionless as we were

Our lives never seemed to move

We were isolated from the rest of the world

We now don't care about it

It's only us now..

We wondered how we spent all these 20 years

How we missed this solitary place all this while

Amidst this turbulence of emotions, my friend spoke

"lovely, isn't it?" "we should be here again, together"

Smiles on the remaining two of our faces :-) :-)

We knew we had to be there again

We had to experince it again
we had it to experience it every moment, if possbile!

We were three

We decided, we'll return here surely

after few years., With girl friends

and again after few years, with wives...

he he :-) just kidding

We decided to return with wives...

and make them expericnce what we did...

The place is the free country Goa.. the beach was Vagator, nearby our room... the time was 11.30 in the night... had the best of times.. lost ourselves